Dealing With A Passive Aggressive Husband
Some of the behaviors of a passive aggressive spouse include not taking responsibility, blaming others, and resentfulness. They display these characteristics because they have trouble saying exactly what is bothering them. In fact, passive aggressive spouses expect their partners to read their minds and they like to control others. They repress their anger but often execute their pay back in a subtle way. Your husband’s passive aggressive behavior may get worse if you try to point out the unpleasant behavior, because passive aggressive people are sensitive to criticism.
How To Deal With Passive Aggressive Behavior
You can deal with passive aggressive behavior in the following ways:
- Don’t tolerate the behavior: Do not allow your passive aggressive spouse to abuse you. Instead stand up for yourself and for anyone else affected by those behaviors.
- Accept the situation: Accept that your spouse acts out in passive aggressive ways and develop empathy for your spouse. Be specific about what bothers you when you are trying to handle your husband’s passive aggressive behavior.
- Express your needs assertively: Express your own needs and feeling assertively and clearly. Do this without labeling your spouse as “passive-aggressive” and without using “I” statements.
- Don’t play the game: Remember you are not the problem and that your spouse is trying to control you by being passive-aggressive. So, avoid getting into an argument with your spouse because your passive aggressive spouse will only get defensive and accuse you of having anger issues.
- Set healthy boundaries: Decide what topics are off-limits to discuss with your spouse. Only you know the dynamics of your marriage, but generally avoid sharing your deep thoughts, aspirations, and feelings with your passive aggressive spouse.
- Set up consequences: First clearly bring out to the open the behavior that is bothering you and establish consequences for the next time your spouse does the same thing.
Remember that trying to change your spouse will only lead to frustration. Compromise to ensure that both of you get what you need in your relationship.
You May Also Be Passive Aggressive
Before you come up with ways to deal with your spouse’s behavior ask yourself if you also fear confrontation and are passive aggressive. This is not unusual because passive aggressive people tend to marry other passive aggressive people. You can deal with your own passive aggressiveness by recognizing your behavior and trying to alter your reactions and patterns. Realize that it is okay to be angry and be open to confrontations.
If you and your spouse are both passive aggressive, you will need to work on communicating your feelings to each other clearly or your marriage may end. Everyone is passive aggressive sometimes but this behavior is not healthy if it becomes a way of life. Fortunately, you can talk to marriage counselors to help you come up with solutions to help preserve your marriage. It will take time before you and your spouse develop a healthy pattern that will be easier for both of you to tolerate.
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