Family Law Attorneys

Losing Attraction

Losing Attraction

Lost Attraction To Wife

The initial intense sexual and emotional attraction that people feel for their partners or spouses often dwindles after a few years of a relationship. But loss of sexual attraction does not mean the couple doesn’t love each other. It is possible to improve your sex life in your marriage if you still love one another. But in a situation where you no longer have sexual interest and love for your partner, you probably need to start thinking about divorce. Generally, people become sexually interested in people they love because of scent, hormones and emotional excitement.

Reasons For Loss Of Attraction

Losing AttractionAging signs such as wrinkles, hair loss, and weight gain can cause loss of attraction. But taking care of your appearance, and losing weight can make sex better even as you age. Another reason is overwork which often means focusing more on work than the person you love. Spouses need to plan special days where they spend quality time with each other without interference from their children. For example, children can be sent to their grandparents for the weekend and the phone can be turned off to keep work away from your special time.

Loss of attraction can also happen because a couple has unequal libido or poor sexual technique. One spouse may be more inclined to having sex regularly while the other spouse only wants sex a couple of times a week. Or one spouse may want more foreplay while the other is in a hurry to finish. Communication about your sexual needs and fantasies can help you solve such a situation.

Your spouse may also lose sexual attraction if they are attracted to someone else who fits their fantasy. Being attracted to someone else only becomes a problem if it develops into spending too much time with the said person or having a tryst with that person. You need to talk to your spouse about your fantasy so that you can find ways to spice up your sex life. Remember that sex, shared experience and friendship are the foundations of a strong relationship.

Resentment And Sexual Attraction

Sometimes the loss of sexual attraction has nothing to do with your spouse’s appearance or performance in bed but resentment. When your partner harbors anger against you for an action they believe was deliberate, interest in sex with your partner will decline. Below are some signs of resentment:

  • Your partner ignores everything you say or keeps shaking their head disapprovingly whenever you say something
  • Your partner becomes passive aggressive and refuses to engage with you in any physical contact
  • Your partner always finds faults with you even when it’s clear the incident was unintentional
  • You fight over the same issue every time
  • Your partner no longer smiles at you and changes their expression every time you enter a room they are in

The only way to deal with resentment is to do a root-cause analysis. Sometimes all you need to do is apologize to your spouse for a misunderstanding to get things back to normal again.

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